Some of the recruits scream as it becomes obvious that Fast Eddie is driving this troop transport 70 miles per hour, straight at a brick wall. Before my wife could spin to cut off Fast Eddie's head, we are through the wall and taking a steep decline through a cave. Eddie hums the 60's Batman theme as we descend and begins to decelerate.
We come to a screeching halt in a pitch black cave. A couple of tanks, and some F150 Ford pick up trucks with University of Michigan decals come into view through the dust as a few flood lights focus on the RG33L. Four men in old army green camouflage fatigues sporting Mac 10 machine pistols come through a small door on the eastern wall leading a few German Shepherds.
Fast Eddie jumps out of the RG33L and says "I hope one of you dudes brought me some weed". Fast Eddie and the guards have a lengthy argument. Finally, Eddie motions for us to follow him. He looks at me and says, "I'm burned dude. My team was freaking out because I've been AWOL for so long. Not only did they forget my weed, but they failed to notice what a sweet bad ass ride I found! Burns my nads I tell ya."
"They didn't have a problem with your new recruits and the two of us?" I ask.
I point at me and my wife emphasizing us.
"The recruits are straight. They will go to sick bay for a check up, wash up, lose the orange-crush suits, and then they can do their own thing."
"What about us, Eddie?" I ask again.
"You two do your ghost thing and stay below the radar. My team was so hostile I forgot to mention you. Stick with me for now but I can always find you. My mom was a psychic and I picked up a few things from her besides a fondness for smoking grass".
Fast Eddie escorts the recruits through the door, past the guards and dogs. An elderly woman in a white nurse's uniform ambles down the hall and gives Fast Eddie a hug before fussing over the recruits. Eddie asks the nurse to check out his brother Rodney.
"He ain't right.
Check him for an acid trip".
She nods and then she herds the orange suited people down a hall and we watch them go around a corner, deeper into the complex.
Eddie motions back to where the old nurse headed and says,
"Mrs. Van De Boer retired from the UM hospital system twenty years ago, but you take what you can get. Most of the Michigan Militia team is either too damn old or too damn young. We also are a little light on male recruits. I'll give you the grand tour, but first we need to check up on my babies. Follow me".
We travel down some winding passages. "We are directly under the Ypsilanti Water Tower right now...known locally as the Penis tower. I can't think of a better way to stick it to THE MAN than to have our headquarters under a giant prick. Many of the upper passages were part of the Eastern Michigan nuclear medicine program. Some are part of the old steam tunnel system. Some were top secret. Governor George Romney had the lower passages built in 1964 as an emergency State Capitol bunker if a nuclear strike ever happened. Romney even had a small breeder style nuclear reactor built to provide power indefinitely to this place. At some point the place was locked up and abandoned. Bad ass eh?"
"How did you find out about this place?" I ask him.
Eddie snorts,
"My mom is psychic dude. Give her some street cred!"
Eddie stops in front of a door, flips a panel and rests his chin on a plate while his eye is scanned for identification. The door unlocks and we step inside.
Eddie stammers,
"Bummer!
Franky must have spaced out.
My babies are dead!!
May they not have died in vain"!
Eddie walks over to some large pots against the wall, flicks on a powerful lighting system revealing clearly the dead pot plants. He pinches off a dried five-leafed stem and begins to grind it into a piece of roach paper he picked up from a desk. His expert hands quickly roll the weed into a joint. Eddie picks up a lighter from his desk and lights the joint, and after a few long puffs the tension visibly falls off his shoulders as he exhales. Including the dried marijuana plants, the room looks more like a college dorm room than a suite for a leader of men. A twin mattress with simple white sheets rests in a corner. Taped to one wall is a poster of a younger Eddie and two scantily dressed athletic women doing a promo for a Pro Wresting event in Detroit. Another poster has a slightly older Eddie labeled UFC's (Ultimate Fighting Championship) Ultimate Warrior 2014 ripping through a chain-link cage. Almost out of place is a Diploma for Edward Gerald Silverstein from the University of California--Berkley in computer science. The focal point to the room is an 80 inch monitor, above a computer desk covered in advanced computer paraphernalia.
Eddie verbalizes for the computer to activate. The monitor switches on. Eddie requests a view of the inner compound. In the voice of the Star Trek computer from the 1960's television series we hear,
"Access denied jobber.
User rights restricted to show stopper status or above".
Eddie motions with his left arm and a series of code flies across the screen at rapid pace and commands, "S39faj032--sakho alpha dog 02rh0fash blunt codex a1 show stopper 20s023-2380-51114-9 beta."
The screen flickers briefly, the computer voice has changed to the voice of James Earl Jones, "What is thy bidding, my master?" Eddie tells the computer to run a full internal diagnostic, scan all levels of the compound including the perimeter and check the server lines for 3rd level pings and ghost inversions. "As you request, time estimate to completion is six hours." Eddie says, "Execute!!" and the machine buzzes with activity.
My wife smiles at Eddie, "I didn't know you were a geek".
Eddie grins, "Geek, Mr. Charisma, rebel scum, and a crusader for legalized marijuana."
Eddie heads to the door. "I promised you the grand tour and I need to check up on Rodney. Let's get to steppin".