It's opening day for TIger's baseball. Ernie Harwell is on the radio exciting the fans with his baseball lore, fantasy sports teams are gearing up, and Detroit fans are dreaming of a World Series Pennant. How sweet would that be?
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I don't know why
The snow will not die April approaches Cold wind reproaches My fingers are numb As more snow comes Jack Frost has paled My crop of kale I don’t know why The snow will not die I've taken close to 300 credits. Registration for classes used to be fun when I was choosing classes for discipline. Now that I am finishing my Post BA education certificate at EMU registration is something I dread. First, classes are not designed for people who have jobs, lives, and other careers. That means that the farther you go in your education the certificate, the less likely you will find classes that work with your job schedule if you work a day job like me. Fortunately I work for the University of Michigan and have had good success getting a flexible schedule. After last fall, I stretched that goodwill to the limit taking several day classes and student teaching on several days. EMU is unsympathetic to these needs and continues to schedule classes that meet professor's desires for day time teaching but doesn't do much to help me. I am going to have to take an 11am class in the Fall. That wouldn't be so bad, but it meets twice a week. I hope I don't have to quit my job to complete my certificate because I am already very concerned about finding a teaching job in this economy. I woke up early last night.
I was dreaming about flying in a dirigible, enjoying the freedom of seeing the world from up high when someone suddenly blocked my sight. I flew right into a US detention camp that looked strangely like a parking garage. It was guarded by police officers. All the people there were intelligent and caring citizens wronged by the government. I somehow had deflated my dirigible undetected. I knew I had to escape. I snuck over the wall of the detention center and began blowing up my dirigible with just lung power. When I got it about 1/3 full a fat police officer noticed me and began chasing me. He had no chance to catch me and I was running and blowing up the dirigible as fast I could (helium breath is cool!) I woke myself up. My wife said I was breathing fast but not like I was scared. I said, yeah, I couldn’t get that balloon filled quickly enough! That was about 5:30 AM…alarm goes off at 6AM. *sigh* It has been a little over a year since my father died. He was not the brightest nor the dullest man but he often lacked for wisdom. A life long smoker and alcoholic, his most redeeming quality was a good paying automotive job that keep his vices paid for and kept his wife out of debt.
They say intelligence skips a generation. I say sometimes we need to make generation a plural. My mother and much of her family are steeped in intellectual challenge and willful ignorance. That doesn't mean I don't love them, but it does mean that the challenge of keeping them out of financial trouble can be immense. Also, there is a tendency for them to cause embarrasment from a strong social isolationism that keeps them from making good choices when meeting people who are not identical to themselves. Last year after my father died, I inherented my mother. In addition, my brother who tends to deny himself any responsibility as a human being abandoned two of his children and our ancestral home, which my mother gave to him about ten years ago. My father saved enough money to keep my mother in good comfort for a number of years if she chose to live with me. Instead, she insisted on giving her home away up north, and buying a rather expensive house at the worst possible time in the housing market. Stupidly, I signed a mortgage agreement with her so that she could get a house. The alternative was that she would spend all of her money to buy my brother out of debt (which never actually seems to work no matter how much money is involved). Now, in these dark days of evil emperors, 24 hour government survellance, terrorism against civil liberty and economic implosion due to dullard financial management I find myself in an even more grim situation. How to get my name off of my mother's mortgage before she ruins the both of us financially. It will be most difficult in the coming years to keep solvent, without someone who gives her money to 12 year olds rather than pay her debts mucking things up. Perhaps the madness in this scenario is not to simply join and contribute to the economic collapse of my country, rather than resist it as seems natural to do. The plot is only beginning. Our government, through it's agencies of psycology have suggested that "obsessive texting and emailing" is a form of insanity. I give to you that insanity is acceptance of the world as it is instead of resisting the tyranny of the status quo and the mandates of a government that does not love us. Procrastination. An enemy most foul that I battle every moment of my life. Even now, as I write this acknowledgement to a battle with internal demons I am in fact losing the war with this beast. I am told we all suffer to some extent from inertia, but at what point is the war lost and laziness becomes the common theme. Motivation is a ki-power I often feel I am lacking. Complacency, sister to Procrastination often envelopes me and saps my strength. How much could we achieve in life if we were truly driven? I ask myselves this and they flip me the figurative bird. Perhaps the worst part of it all is the recognition of putting off of important tasks and the feeling of powerlessness to change. Placing one foot in front of the other can sometimes be monumental. Life goes on.
Yesterday I drafted the "perfect" fantasy baseball team. It is part of a yahoo fantasy baseball league. I play Yahoo and Sporting News fantasy sports...specifically, football, baseball and hockey. I truly enjoy playing these games, yet they are a complete waste of productivity. I like the challenge of out-managing the other managers, yet don't believe in paying to play. I love some of the totally absurd names people come up with for their team names. Anyone else play fantasy sports or do you see it as a complete waste of time? I probably agree with your opinion no matter which side you take. Global warming I must say
Didn’t make it here today Lying snow blind in the sun Shoveling snow is not much fun This is an emergency For there is a foot you see Robins searching in the snow Can not find a worm you know Tulips tried to raise their heads Now they are all surly dead As snowmobiles are racing by Budding fruit trees wither and die So if you come to Michigan You will head back south again No more flowers in the sun Winter here has just begun It’s Spring! Spring is in the air,
Snow stings my eyes as I walk, Winter will not die. March 20, 2008
Today is my first entry but certainly not my first attempt to express my thoughts in a deliberate and focused manner. The purpose of this diatribe…I find I often use words in their archaic form, is not entirely clear to me and yet I no longer can resist the urge to explain the inner workings of my mind. Today is the first day of Spring. What does this mean? Has some terrible Frost Giant locked in mortal battle with Helios, broken and dying, weeping it’s last life blood in a torrent rush, swelling streams and greening vegetation given up so others may live? Forgive me! Months dwelling in the frozen, darkened halls of my atrophied musings have my imagination stirring with the promise of renewal. I am most optimistic that the blackened horizon, dulled by winter will soon burst forth with parti-colored brilliance and my thoughts will soon rise from this vaporous gloom to feed upon vernal imagery. |
Dean StevensI am responsible for all that appears before you. Categories
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