I muse a great deal on what people say to me since it is a rather uncommon experience to have someone say anything to me at all. I'm thinking on this while walking on the sidewalk on Main Street when I notice a Starburst candy on the pavement. It is a pristine, perfectly wrapped strawberry Starburst.
"Eat it!"
"Don't listen to him, its probably a mix of heroin and coke just waiting for you to ingest and die!"
"Eat it! I want to go on a trip to the rainbow forest and taste the dewy thoughts of God!"
"Okay its not drugged, but shouldn't you give it to some poor homeless guy who hasn't eaten in two days?"
"Bullocks! That Hobo can find his own candy! TRIPPIE TIME! Come on, two-step with Satan! EAT IT NOW!"
"Wait, are those ants crawling out of it?"
"Ants? Adam Ant? Atom Ant? Ant farm? Animal Farm? Farmville? A little protein wouldn't hurt...I had an Anatomy professor who pronounced it pro-tee-en...isn't that strange?
"What is Starburst even made from?"
"Quick, google it?"
"You don't own a smart phone idiot!"
"Searching data banks Will Robinson. Starburst is a high energy complex molecule consisting of four nitrogen, four oxygen the appropriate number of hydrogen bonds...BULL SHIT. YOU ARE TOTALLY MAKING THAT UP!"
"Look it up. What do you think Hydrogenated Palm Kernel oil is if not a complex molecule..."
"Starburst is a yummy ecstasy tab that will help me achieve nirvana."
"Nirvana, right...nevermind...ha..snicker...hehe!"
"If you had a magnifying glass you could cook the ants and the starburst and maybe cause a violent reaction resulting in a massive release of energy and..."
"You mean explosion?"
"Your glasses will work...point them at the sun..."
"No, NOBODY is watching you..."
"HA, I totally lied, look at all the people looking at you....what are you doing?"
Suddenly someone STEPS on the starburst and continues walking as if nothing happened. The Starburst is stuck to the bottom of his shoe and is leaving little pink blood stains on the sidewalk with each step.
I stare in horror, mouth gaping, my mind in entropy.
Hey, is that a penny?