A polar vortex is what happens when an Eskimo flushes a toilet.
Colorado legalized pot. In related news, Denver renamed their NFL team the Brownies. Team jersey sales increased by 140% in 24 hours.
Why does the car navigation system ignore me every time I ask how to get to Mordor?
Why isn't alphabet soup available in Klingon?
Never laugh at a banana. It is not appealing.
If at first you don't succeed, deny EVERYTHING!
Every day my co-worker put a bagel in the microwave and pushed the popcorn button. The bagel came out horribly burnt. My co-worker would utter profanity. After watching this for about a week, finally I asked why she was surprised her bagel got burned when she hit the popcorn button. She told me, that is not why I am mad. I wanted popcorn, but this damn food exchanger is defective.