Caught me unaware.
Is a Conservative a Conservative he said with a glare
Is a Conservative Conservative across this great land?
What if he comes from a less Conservative brand?
What if he comes from New Jersey, why should we care?
Will he steal their retirement plans all in a bunch?
Will he take away their disaster relief?
Will he take their free lunch?
Will he make up a budget, and make it up quick?
Do it without formulas, lickety-split?
Can he quote from the Bible like good Christians should?
Can he make his own verses and make them up good?
Can he shoot a live turkey with finesse and flair?
Can he shoot his old six shooter up in the air?
I do not believe he's as Conservative as me!
He lives in New Jersey, not the land of the free.
No, Conservatives must come from a place far from there.
A place with no taxes or a place with big bears.
A Conservative must come from a place that is fun.
A place with low wages, over-baked from the sun.
A Conservative must come from where Americans come.
A place with no future, a place that is dumb.