I look at the cat (which had clearly lost more than it's share of late night brawls) and said, "Sorry bud, this fish isn't worth your time or mine." Well that cat started purring and rumbling and swishin its tail like a politician at a fundraiser, getting more and more animated until I swear to you he said, "Hold up!" "What? I swear I just heard a cat say, "Hold up!" Now, I've been known to string a few beers together on some of these dock visits but I swear to you I didn't have a dime for bait, so I sure wasn't having Miller Time today. I go to flip the fish into the water and that cat starts hopping up and down and says, "HOLD UP!" Well I did hold up, cause I aint never heard a cat tell me that before (other than the first time he done it) and my daddy always said be sure of what you're about before you go leapin in half-assed. Before I could say somethin that cat says, "You let me eat that fish, 'ceptin the tail and you use that tail for bait you will catch you a much bigga fish." I thought about it for a second (which is a long time to think, if you think about it), and sure enough it seemed an easy bargain to make. I give the fish to the cat and he spit the tail out in my hand after eating the rest. I put the tail on my hook and tossed my line back out into the water.
Time passed and the cat just sat there watching. Soon enough I had another bite. This one felt much bigger. Before I know'd it I had a six pound catfish on the dock, wagging back and forth. I was about to put him on the stringer when the old orange cat started purring and hopping and says, "Hold up!" So I did. "He says, you give me that fish, I give you the tail and soon enough you will have you an even bigger fish." Well damn. It worked once. This cat must have magical powers I figure. Well that ole cat ate down that fish like it was the only meal he ever had, but he spit out the tail and I put in on my line and cast it back out. Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking aint no way you gonna catch a bigger fish on Carter Pond, cause they're aint no bigger fish. Well you'd be wrong, cause sure enough I caught the biggest damn catfish that ever dwelt in Carter Pond. That fish bent my pole so bad I though for sure it would snap, but it didn't cause I use the best cane I can find. Took me a minute but I grabbed that big fish by the mouth and he clamped down hard on my wrist causing me to let out a holler that woke Mrs. Watson's coon hound and it started howling right along with me. Now that fish was near as big as I was. I had no idea how much it weighed cause my measures only went up to twenty pounds but it was heavier than I was too. I started to string up that catch. I Just knew I was gonna be in the local news for sure! I spiffed up my hair as I imagined being right famous.
All a sudden, that cat says, "Hold up!" Now, I aint about to hold up, cause there aint no bigger fish in the whole darn State, but that cat starts a hissing and then he starts a hoppin like a cottontail in the Spring and I think well, I guess I'll hear him out. He tells me again if I let him eat that fish, well I'll get what I deserve. Now I start laughing and I can't stop laughing. I laugh till I can see nothin! The idea that some stray barn cat is gonna eat a fish bigger than itself by ten times (my math may be off... I was never much good in school), has me in stitches. I finally stop laughing. When I get my senses about me, I say, "Awright, you can eat that there fish, I'll try your game once more, but you're telling me one hell of a fish tale if you think I am gonna catch me a bigger fish than this here one." Now I know you won't believe this cause I don't neither and I saw it myself, but that cat unhinged his jaw like one of them big boa snakes from south of the border and ate my prize fish down. He was a big sack of orange fur and his feet were kind of like sticks poking out and he sort of looked like one of them Macy's Day floats. As I stand there with my own jaw hanging down, he spits out the fish tail.
My greed starts to kick in and I swoop down and grab that fish tail and stick it on the biggest hook I own and toss my line back into the water. Now I wait and I wait and after a while I do get a bite. I got so excited I nearly dropped my pole in the water and that would have been the end of it. But I grabbed my pole and something took my line straight to the bottom of Carter Pond. You know how you get one of those hits when fishing that you just know is gonna end up in the record books? I had one. Then, the line relaxed. For a moment I thought, well he must have gotten snagged up on some weeds. I pulled and nearly got hit in the face with my hook. That shiny hook didn't have a drop of fish tail on it and that is no lie. I was snookered and robbed! I looked around but that fat cat was gone! He got my prize fish and all I got was a big piece of humble pie. So ends my tale.